my big 10: steps to better mental health

i always found myself searching for the right ways to deal with your mental health; 'eat clean', 'socialise more', 'do something that makes you happy. now don't get me wrong these tips are all so beneficial to better mental wellbeing, but are these the best steps for YOUR mental health? 

it took me a long time to figure out my own 'big 10' to better my mind. your top 10 steps, mindsets and goals should all be personal to your mental state, i believed that if i didn't follow and use the generalised steps to better mental health then i was going to be in the same pit forever. but that is never the case, granted your ways may not work, but allowing them to be more personal to your own growth makes them more likely to have a positive result. 

here are my big 10 to support my mental health: 

Putting me first & learning to love me.

I have always been the girl to put others before myself, it comes naturally to me to put myself at 2nd place, because seeing others happy makes me happy. I still value others, and long for their happiness, but at that cost i put my own self and happiness on the line. i now put myself first in as many situations as i can, because my happiness matters too. i am learning to love me, every day is a journey, and one day i adore myself and the next i go 3 steps back and i am the worst, most disgusting thing there is. i try to wake up everyday thinking of 3 things i love about me, and before i sleep 3 things i have done to put myself first in the day; if i can't think of 3, that's totally okay.

Stopped worrying about things that are out of my control

my biggest catchphrases are 'everything happens for a reason' and 'what is meant to be will be', because they are absolutely true. i usually find myself worrying about the 'what ifs' and worrying about something completely out of my control, but again, at the cost of my happiness? i took control of what i CAN control in life; selfcare, how i treat people, my actions and words, my energy, and quickly i am becoming more positive. 

Feeling and facing all of my emotions

I spent long periods in my life bottling my emotions away, deeming myself as dramatic and sensitive, crying too often thinking it was just my 'hormones'. until i realised the best thing to do is talk, speak out and lift the weight, tackle my emotions head on so i don't lack the knowledge and uncertainty about myself. feeling and facing all my emotions has lead me to be self aware, aware of why i feel a certain way, how to solve that and understanding my body and mind by allowing it to do what it needs to do. 

Found something to enjoy!

i have taken a huge jump away from my comfort zone and challenging myself to tackle something new and taking on a challenge. i am officially in my running girl era! i started couch to 5k and felt stronger and my wellbeing felt so much better. the run itself is a high, but the feeling it gives you is incredible. you can enjoy and be good at anything you put your mind to. 

Finding a podcast instead of scrolling social media for hours

this is my favourite step i am doing to better myself, podcasts are my go to. i enjoy a range of them, educational, funny, mental health based, anything! my favourite is 'happy place' by Ferne Cotton, i find her guests inspirational, but most of all, these are all celebrities, doctors or well known people, and they are human, they have struggles, like yourself and i; we need to be kind.

Realising my past situations and traumas do not define me

this is a big one for me personally, i have had a hard past, family, friendship, abandonment and i let my past define me, and obsessed over the what ifs, what could have been and the whys. but the choices made in my past by others do not control me, they are my strength, they have taught me to be strong and how to do it. 

Moving away from my comfort zone. 

i have given myself the task of by the Sunday of every week, to name one thing i did in the week to push me out of my comfort zone, no matter how big or small. one major thing i have done to push myself out of my comfort zone is; book 2 weeks solo travelling in Thailand. travel is my passion and i want to explore as much of the world as possible. i am planning on booking small classes for myself, such as gym classes, spiritual classes, or classes of my hobbies to push myself socially. 

Realising I haven't failed in life because not everyone's 20s look the same. 

i have a big weight on me that in your 20s you need your whole life figured out, a home or rent, planning for marriage, babies, but it is far from the case. so far my 20s have been a confusing time for me, i felt so lost in every aspect of life, constantly worrying about the future. after tough conversations and home truths, it was evident this is not the case, and not everyone's 20s are going to look the same. i made my aims and goals for my years, to be happy, travel the world, experience life before the hard times come round too quickly. you only get one shot at life. 

Looking after myself more. 

i have gained more routine and structure into my days, particularly morning and night, i have set skin care routines, daily vitamin intake and scheduled times so it becomes a routine, daily affirmations have become part of my day, reminding myself what to be grateful for. i put more time and effort into myself, to feel better and more confident. i am more organised than i ever have been, using daily to-do lists to ensure i am getting everything done in order to have more time to myself; there is no care like selfcare <3